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Only in America...... Jokes


Lord

Only in AmericaGod bless America and the human beings who happen
to live there...


ONLY IN ......

America......can a pizza get to
your house faster than an ambulance.



2. Only in America......are there
handicap parking places in front of a
skating rink and Golf courses.



3. Only in America......do drugstores
make the sick walk all the way to the
back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front.



4. Only in America......do people order
double cheeseburgers, large fries,
and a diet coke.



5. Only in America......do banks leave
both doors open and then chain the
pens to the counters.



6. Only in America......do we leave cars
worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the
garage.



7. Only in America.......do we use
answering machines to screen calls and
then have call waiting so we won't miss a
call from someone we didn't want
to talk to in the first place.



8. Only in America......do we buy hot
dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages of eight.



9. Only in America......do we use the
word 'politics' to describe the
process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning
'many' and 'tics' meaning
'bloodsucking creatures'.



10. Only in America......do they have
drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.

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